why aren't you doing the thing?

253. once you know WHY you aren't doing the thing, you'll have a really good clue on how to get yourself to do it. 

the key is to ask yourself without shame, blame or harsh judgment. 

if you loved what i talked about in this episode, you're going to love working with me.

i can help you feel better and get more done when you work with me 1:1. i'll help you figure out a meaningful goal, we'll create an action plan and i'll help you get unstuck all along the way. you don't have to go it alone, and you don't have to burn yourself out!

 
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Transcript

Naming The Stuck Task

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey friend, one of the things that I help my clients with is uh sometimes they will have tasks or things that they keep putting off and things that they think that they should do or that they want to do, but they just can't get themselves to do them. And so one of the things that we do to help with that is we get really curious without shame or blame or harsh self-judgment. We talk about, well, why haven't you done that? Why haven't you sent that email or why haven't you done the follow-up? Why haven't you updated your website? And if we can get really honest, if the client can be really honest with me about why they haven't done the thing, that's usually a big, huge clue on what we need to work on to help them do it, right? So if they haven't done the task because they are afraid of failure, we talk about that. Then we're like, oh, okay, good, we can work on that. Or if they haven't done it because it's tedious or because it seems too complicated, or they don't know where to start, or they're actually afraid of success. Those are really important clues and they help tell me, okay, now that we know why you're not doing it, we're gonna take out all the shame and blame piece. So we're not gonna be upset with yourself for not doing it. We're just gonna be kind of compassionate and understand the cause for you not doing it, and then we're going to chip away at that cause. We're going to reframe things or look at things in a different light. Sometimes we'll make the things more easy or more fun or more doable or a tinier step so that it doesn't feel as complicated or as scary, right? But it's so easy to, once you figure out why you're not doing the thing, then it's pretty easy to find where you need to work to fix it. So then you are able to go do the thing. So, my the reason I'm sharing this is if you are finding that there's that just bugaboo thing that you just can't get yourself to do, take a pause, ask yourself honestly, with curiosity and objectivity, not shame and blame and judgment. Ask yourself, huh? Why, what do I think it is that's getting in the way of me doing this thing? And now you have your clue. Now you can chip away at that reason and you can figure out how to get yourself to do it. Once you know why, it's pretty easy to solve for that. All right, love you, friend.